A recurring thought.

It makes me shiver.

It makes me think of all the people that left without giving any of their music to the world. No one told them they could. So they were afraid.

So many beautiful ideas left to float up in the air until another time, another soul. What a loss for world.

It pisses me off.

It makes me think of how it would come naturally to all of us, weren’t it for the faulty society-bounded upbringing and the schools and the rules that eff us up nicely so we just give up.

It haunts me.

You see, I’m not that Big Picture about it most of the time. When it pops out from the back of my head, I am scared shitless. Pardon my French, but it is my greatest fear. It reminds me of all the music that quietly died in ME because I froze and didn’t catch it with my hand.

I don’t remember where did I first hear it. Maybe in one of the countless Wayne Dyer speeches I listened while I was on a quest for my bliss. Way back before I found WHAT my music really IS.
As Havi says, “You know, the thing!”.

Anyhow, the thought stuck with me by association for too darn long. And to stop it from haunting me, I should materialize it and let it out.

Thank goodness, sometimes when my analyzing mind gets tired, and the sketchbook is near enough, I start drawing just the thought that haunts me:

click to enlarge

There it is. Music, sweet music that makes my heart sing. Just my crayons and me, and I’m 5 again, fearless about drawing and showing my work.

This is the first thing I drew since I moved across the country to my new place. (ahem, NEEEW PLAAAACE!)

The time (and PLAAAACE!) is perfect to do my thing.

I have gone through everything to make it possible, and if I’m not doing it, I’m as good as dead. (Thanks to Danielle LaPorte for ANOTHER haunting thought!

So there be it. Fly, you scary thought, fly!